Our mothers believed that if you carry a child in your arms a lot and often, he will grow up spoiled. In fact, there is nothing in common between being spoiled and hugging your mother. We tell you why you need to carry your baby in your arms as often as possible.

"Tame" kids are calmer than "non-tame"

For nine months, the baby spent his mother's belly: there he was warm, cozy and calm. Having been born, the child finds himself in an unknown and hostile world for him. And this is the real stress for the baby. From a medical point of view, mother's hugs reduce the anxiety of the child.

In mother's arms, the baby feels her smell, warmth and heartbeat - just like in the womb - and quickly calms down.

"Tame" babies quickly adapt to the world after birth

Physical contact with the mother (stroking, hugging, carrying, etc.) is one of the most important conditions for the baby to adapt to life outside the mother's womb.

As you know, immediately after birth, babies still have poor vision and hearing. But their sense of touch and smell are quite developed. So much so that through touch and smell, the crumbs are able to receive the first emotions and impressions. And through them to develop other senses.

Babies who are often carried in their arms are less likely to have tummy ache

"Tame" children are more inquisitive

It is so comfortable and safe in the arms of the mother that the kids immediately cease to be afraid of the outside world and waste their energy on crying and whims, and begin to study it with interest.

In addition to the fact that the baby can more carefully study its surroundings, from the height of its mother's growth, a much greater view is available than from a crib or rocking chair. In the future, such children grow up to be energetic, cheerful and enterprising people.

Experts also note that babies, who are often carried in their arms, begin to recognize the speech of relatives and strangers, intonation faster than their "non-tame" peers, and also show more emotions themselves.

“Tame” children form a close emotional connection with their mother

Babies, who were often carried in their arms, develop a trusting and very close relationship with their mother. In turn, mothers better understand the desires and feelings of their child.

How often do you carry your baby in your arms?

I take it at every opportunity

73.8%

Only when he gets really upset

12.5%

I try not to get used to the hands

6.5%

The baby does not get away with it: I wear it in a sling

7.1%

3253 users completed the survey

How to carry a baby in your arms?

The number and method of carrying a child in her arms depends on his age.

With newborn babies, you need to “communicate” as often as possible. Therefore, provide tactile contact not only during dressing and bathing. At every opportunity, try to take the baby in your arms: during feeding, if it happens lying down, stroke the baby on the back, legs and arms, if possible and desire, sleep with the baby in the same bed, and of course, take him in your arms at the slightest whim and crying, so the child will be sure that he is loved and needed.

When a child is just born, the mother tries to devote all possible time to the baby, watches him, feeds him, puts him to bed, moving around the apartment, constantly carries him in her arms. The child gets used to always being in contact with his mother, to feel her, to feel her smell and mood, which is transmitted to him. But the child grows, and the mother can no longer spend all her time with him, the child begins to miss the attention of the mother, he is capricious. How to wean the baby from constant contact with his mother, how not to make him a "tame child"? Can excessive guardianship and indulgence of a child have a bad effect on his development, independence, will it not be harmful to his future life?

While the mother is young, she wants to remember every moment of the baby's development, not to miss even the smallest detail, and the burden of colossal responsibility encourages her to constantly monitor the child. However, the older generation, mothers and grandmothers, who often raised more than one child, assure us that it is harmful for a child to always be in his mother’s arms, weaning a baby from hands is much more difficult than, in principle, preventing addiction.

The main advice of the adult generation is to take the child in your arms only if necessary! If the child is dry, well-fed, then he should play on his own, you can always occupy him with something, or while doing business, talk with him, but not carry him from room to room, so that he is constantly next to you.

Indeed, when the baby is already 7-8 months old, he sits and crawls on his own, and you need to cook dinner or lunch, arrange a safe space for the baby in the kitchen where he can sleep or play, but he should always see you. It can be a special mobile bed, stroller or high chair. You will be in his field of vision, he will be calm, you will always be able to control him.

If you are a working mother and do something at the computer, put a crib nearby, and periodically come up to the child, constantly talk to him, sometimes you can take him in your arms and walk with him, but do not keep him near the computer, let the baby take care of his children's worries, plays, looks at something.

It seems to young mothers that they will be a good mother if they spend 100 percent of the time with the child, many stop even taking care of themselves, completely taking care of the child. This should not be done categorically, you will be a wonderful mother even if you do not constantly "lisp" with the child, constantly entertain him and carry him in your arms.

There should be no extremes in raising children. The child feels the mother very much, her psycho-emotional state is transmitted to him, he begins to act up if something bothers the mother, if the mother does not feel well, etc. And this means that the child's need for a mother exists, and is very strong. Immediately after the birth of the baby, you should carry him in your arms, especially when you put him to bed, he feels calm and falls asleep. Only in everything you need to know the measure, if at the very beginning the child is poorly aware of the world around him, he really needs his mother, her attention and affection, then the older he gets, the more he needs freedom and personal space, but many mothers also continue to impose on the child your excessive attention.

Benefits of baby-mom contact

At the very beginning of life, contact with the mother is necessary for the child, it helps the proper functioning of the whole organism. Mom's warmth warms him, breast milk allows you to gain strength faster, the child becomes stronger, better adapts to the new world and rhythm for him. At the age of up to three months, babies have colic due to a still weak digestive tract, in which case the mother can easily help the child by placing his tummy on her tummy, the baby will warm up and the colic will pass.

After six months, the baby begins to cut teeth, constant itching and pain worries the child, he is more naughty, eats worse, and only his mother will ease his suffering, press him to his chest and hug him, so the pain will subside and the baby will fall asleep.

If the baby has a cold, he has a temperature, it is the mother’s warmth that will warm him in his sleep, he will feel better in his mother’s arms, besides, it is necessary to feed the baby with breast milk during illness, it will help him cope with the virus faster, because mother’s milk contains useful substances, so necessary for the growth and development of a healthy child's body.

In addition, the stay of the baby in the arms of the mother has a very beneficial effect on his physical development. Immediately after birth, the child still cannot control his body, his muscles do not obey, the movements are chaotic and incomprehensible, he cannot hold his head and turn it on his own. Lying in the crib, he does not train his muscles, they are constantly relaxed, the opposite process occurs in the mother’s arms, on the contrary, the child is forced to constantly train them, because he has to be in constant motion, because the mother is constantly moving, changing direction, bending, turning, the child's vestibular apparatus is trained. There is a soft and constant training of the crumbs, this allows you to develop better and faster physically. On the one hand, he does not do anything on his own, however, the muscles are forced to constantly tighten and relax, training in this way. If a child is regularly carried in his arms, he will begin to hold his head earlier and learn to roll over from his back to his tummy, and learn to crawl faster.

Carrying a baby in his arms has a positive effect on his psychological state. When he was in his mother's tummy, he was calm and comfortable, he heard the beating of his heart, felt warmth, received nutrition and oxygen, heard quiet voices. When he was born, in order for him to smoothly rebuild the new world, he just needs to hear the beating of his mother's heart, receive food from his mother, and smell her. While the child is frightened by everything, he needs to create a calm atmosphere, a little like the one he is used to, so if you leave the baby in the crib at all, he will cry, afraid that he was left alone, he still does not know what to do with it. If you regularly leave him, he will have internal fears, for example, losing loved ones, fear of loneliness, they can persist and pass into adulthood, transforming into complexes. Therefore, pediatricians advise mothers not to leave the child alone, even if he is in the crib, then he should see you, if you are in another room, then try to return as soon as possible or wait until the baby falls asleep, and then go about your business. It is not necessary to always hold him in your arms, it is enough to be near him, talk kindly to him, sing songs so that he hears a kind voice and feels your love.

Children are more attached to those parents who carried them in their arms in childhood, they have a more developed sense of mutual understanding. They feel each other's problems and joy better, such families are stronger, children communicate with their parents more affectionately all their lives, relations are kinder, unlike those when the child was left to himself and was not carried in his arms.

How to carry a baby in your arms?

It is possible and necessary to carry a child in your arms, but this should be done in moderation and the older the baby, the less trying to pick him up, but it’s not enough just to carry the baby, you need to do it right so as not to injure the child’s fragile body and spine.

Many mothers are very afraid to take a newborn in their arms, afraid to turn it over to change a diaper, afraid to bathe so as not to cause pain, the baby looks like such a fragile creature. This fear leads to the fact that they do not often take the child in their arms, but only to feed or change clothes.

There are positions in which the child feels comfortable, and even the baby is comfortable in his arms, and the delicate bones will not be damaged. The main problem in newborns is that they cannot hold their head, this should be remembered when you take the baby in your arms and put it in the crib.

If you need to take the baby out of the crib or from the changing table, then do it as follows: lift him under the handles with both hands, and support the head with your fingers from behind so that the fragile cervical vertebrae do not receive a strong load.

The child should be worn like this: the head should be on the elbow, the back on the forearm of the ass is supported by the palm of the mother, the second hand insures the child from above. In this position, the child can eat, sleep and simply move with his mother, his body does not get tired. After eating, you should hold the baby upright, because the crumbs have a burp, and in this position it is easier for him to burp. This position is very convenient for children when they do not want to sleep, they watch people, objects, study the world around, in this position it is best seen. It is necessary to turn the child to his tummy, press him to himself, supporting his back with his forearm, put his head on his shoulder. Do not put pressure on the child, but insure his head so that it does not abruptly lean back and cause him discomfort and pain. Do not put him on the second hand, namely, press him to yourself, because the baby has still weak hip joints, so a sitting position is contraindicated, especially for girls under 6 months old.

Each mother decides for herself. How much to carry a child in her arms, but the fact that the interaction with the mother is necessary for the child to develop properly is undeniable, because children feel the love that their mother gives them.

Until the middle of the 20th century, people lived in large traditional families. The older ones looked after the younger ones, the younger ones looked after the older children that appeared. There were no questions about how and what to do with the baby. Family members learned from each other. Today, when receiving her long-awaited first-born in the maternity hospital, a thirty-year-old respectable woman does not have the skills necessary to care for him. A flurry of “How?” falls upon her, while she is still trying to delve into the “Why?”. One of these questions concerns the correct carrying of a child in her arms.

Why is it important to carry your baby properly?

Like everything that was previously unimportant, suddenly becoming important today, a fashionable name for the science of how to wear a baby has appeared: holding. There are no special courses yet, but there are already sections with this name in the training program for future parents. According to the holding's guidelines, it is important for both the baby and the mother to properly carry a child in her arms.

For baby

From a physical point of view: our babies are not little horses, they do not stand on their feet an hour after birth. The spine of the baby does not have deflections of an adult, representing a semblance of the letter "C", which excludes sitting down until the age of six months. In addition, the correct carrying of the child in her arms is the prevention of the development of congenital dislocation of the hip.

From a psychological point of view: the delusion that the baby does not need to be accustomed to hands (“shouting - weaning”) is detrimental to the formation of a normal psyche of a small person. The baby should often be in the arms of adults.

For Mom

From a physical point of view: The bones of a woman in labor after pregnancy and childbirth are softer than usual. An unusual intense load on the spine in the postpartum period can result in acute back pain, headaches, joint pain in the hands.

From a psychological point of view: It is a shame for us, active mothers, to drop out of life because of the birth of children. The correct habit of carrying a child makes coexistence convenient and comfortable for both. With a baby in your arms, it is possible and fashionable to go to the store, do the necessary housework, play sports.

What determines the choice of wearing position

The comfort and acceptability of the method of carrying a baby depends on several factors:

1. The age of the child. It is recommended to wear face from mother only after 3 months. Until this time, the baby does not see well further than 30 cm, so for him everything around frighteningly floats
2. The physical condition of the mother. Poses "on the side", "on the hip" can be dangerous for mothers with diseases of the spine, kidneys
3. The physical condition of the baby. Some birth injuries or birth defects (torticollis and a number of others) require special care when carried on the hands
4. Baby preferences. Despite their young age, babies often have their own opinions about the acceptability of the wearing position. Mom should pay attention to which positions the child does not like, and analyze the reasons for the negative. Spread-legged positions are often disliked due to the small size of the overalls or sliders. Whims in the “on the side” position, when they are on one side of the body and absent on the other, may indicate pain in the baby when turning the head or neck. Such signals should serve as a reason to consult a doctor.

Poses to wear

Wearing in various positions solves not only the issue of transporting your child in space: it is a kind of gymnastics for mom and baby. There are five main poses.

Pose number 1: classic

On the arm from the elbow to the hand (forearm) face up. This is the classic "cradle" position, comfortable to wear and feed. For babies from birth to 3 months, the main points of support are the head and back. You can not sit on the butt.

Important! In the first months of life, all actions with the child should be very smooth. Sharp picking up from the crib, daddy's dashing: "son, come here", combined with tossing and somersaulting, will scare the newborn, can lead to injuries.

Pose number 2: airplane

On the forearm face down, "airplane": the child lies on the forearm, hands - on the mother's elbow and forearm, stomach - on the other hand. Legs are free. The pose is very useful for training the back muscles of the baby, as well as normalizing digestion - a kind of tummy massage, similar in benefits to laying on the stomach. The pose is good from 3 months and older. The baby's head can be turned to the elbow - it's easier to fall asleep, or to the hand - it's more interesting to play and look at the world around.

Pose number 3: on the chest

On the chest facing you. Mom hugs the baby, putting one hand under the ass through the waist, the other - holding the back and head. This position is calming and lulling.

A variant on the chest with a shift to the side, facing you is possible. So the baby learns the world, seeing the face of the mother. Since the children study the dangers of the environment based on the reaction of their mother, it is very important for them to see her reaction to the situation, the phenomenon.

On the chest, facing away from you. Support with one hand across the chest, the other under the ass. Toddlers prefer this position during the period of activity: it is convenient to study the world around in it. It is strictly forbidden to wear babies under 3 months like this. It is recommended to apply the pose after 8 months. Until this age, the baby does not understand where the mother has disappeared, and may be frightened.

Pose number 4: wearing the front side

Good for babies aged 3 to 6 months. The head is on the mother's shoulder, the neck muscles are being trained. Mom holds the feet of the child. The legs are bent, divorced at the knees, which is natural at this age. It is often necessary to change hands - a long fixation on one side tires the mother and baby. The pose develops the mobility of the hips in the hip joints. This position should not be used with heavy babies: the mother will lean to the side too much, damaging the spine.

Posture variant: wearing in front with support of one leg. The child's chest is on the forearm, with the second hand we bend and support the upper leg and tummy. The lower hand of the child lies on the elbow of the mother. One side of the baby's body is fixed, the other is in a moving state. Useful for babies from 7 months, develops leg muscles, stimulates crawling.

Position number 5: on the thigh

Wear on the hip. Suitable for children who have learned to sit well, from about 9 months. The baby "sits" on the mother's thigh, clasping her legs, holding himself on his own. Mom supports the baby with her hand, grabbing it under one leg, fixing the back.

To carry your baby at home or while walking, going to the store, use the traditional baby carrier - a sling scarf. With its help, you can carry the baby in all of the listed positions. With certain skills and habits, a sling scarf is an indispensable assistant for a young mother, allowing you to more evenly distribute the load on the spine of both mother and baby.

Video lesson will help you better understand how to carry your baby in your arms

How not to wear

1. Until the moment when the newborn begins to confidently hold his head, it should not be allowed to tilt back.
2. You can not pull the newborn by the handles - the joints are still too weak
3. Do not carry your baby upside down. The legs should not be higher than the head. This seems obvious. However, in the “airplane” position, such an error is quite possible.
4. When lifting a newborn, do not take the head and body with different hands because of the risk of dislocating the neck
5. Harmfully long wearing with flattened legs
6. If the mother leans back strongly with the baby in her arms, she took it wrong
7. Safety. A person with a baby in his arms should see the road well, hold the baby securely, anticipating his unexpected movements.
8. Ergonomics. The spine of the child and mother must be in the correct position, without distortion
9. Comfort for mother and baby. The absence of dissatisfied cries is the main indicator of the comfort of the baby

When you are accused of accustoming a child to hands, remember that “bearing” and “wearing” are the same root words. The baby is accustomed to his mother's movements, smell. It is natural for him to be in frequent contact with his mother. Carrying children in your arms is beneficial, it strengthens the bond between parents and the child, develops the baby physically and mentally, and soothes the baby.

The most responsible and exciting period has come in your life - have you become the mother of a little man? Find out how often you should pick up your baby and if you should carry your baby at all. Child psychologists reveal all the secrets of the relationship between mother and baby.

With the manifestation of the baby, the life of a young mother is filled with a mass of bright and positive moments. Every woman, on a non-subconscious level, strives to enjoy all the joys that motherhood gives her. It is so inherent in nature that we try to transfer all our love and care to the baby. The natural desire of a mother is to make her child the happiest and healthiest.

We take some actions on the level of intuition, others - guided by the recommendations of mothers, grandmothers or favorite media people. But how not to get lost in the abundance of advice that pours out on us from television screens and from the pages of glossy magazines? How, trying to give the baby the best, not pass by the most necessary and important?

« Do I need to carry children in my arms?» - perhaps this is the most controversial issue around which eternal disputes and heated battles flare up.

Is there an alternative to mother's hands?

Even a hundred years ago, most of the time, mothers carried their children in their arms. Different peoples of the world had all sorts of devices that facilitate this process. Slavic women wore newborn babies in the hem. The peoples of India used for the same purpose slings- a wide strip of soft, strong fabric. By the way, today, thanks to the efforts of many mothers, they have gained a second life, having gained immense popularity all over the world. The young mother did all the housework with the baby in her arms.

The technocratic world has given humanity an abundance of gadgets:

• babysitter radio;
• cribs and strollers with an electronic motion sickness system;
• video surveillance systems that allow you to monitor the baby from the next room.

What does the child need?

Undoubtedly, all these devices greatly facilitate the life of a modern mother, because in addition to taking care of the baby, a woman also has a lot of all kinds of household chores. But how does the little man feel at such moments? Before he was born, for 9 months he heard the beating of his mother's heart, her breathing, steps when moving, and now in an instant he was deprived of all this. Humanity has been developing and existing for thousands of years according to uniform laws, having come into this world, the child wants to feel the hands of his mother, expects continued close contact with her, and not with a smart radio nanny.

In order for the baby to be able to realize all the abilities and talents bestowed on him by nature, it is extremely important to satisfy all his needs and expectations at a very early stage of development. Carrying is also necessary for the infant, as is food, drink, or timely dressing. Unfulfilled expectations at such a young age may well be reflected in adulthood.

To minimize the risks, it is necessary to carry children in your arms as often as possible. Walk with him, give him the opportunity to hear the familiar rhythm of the heart, merge with you in one breath and feel such habitual movements when walking, which he felt all 9 months.

Joint activities of mother and baby

Long-term studies and observations of various groups of newborns have made it possible to establish that babies who spend most of their time in their mother's arms develop faster and more actively than their peers who are deprived of such "privilege". Here it is extremely important to focus the attention of young mothers, you need not only to carry the children in your arms carefully and carefully, you need to do all kinds of homework with him. The baby, together with you, will naturally tense and relax certain muscle groups. After all, his small body will be forced to take a variety of poses, while you have to bend over, squat, stand up. As a result, such actions have a much greater effect than the best gymnastics for children of this age.

Deformation of fragile bones of the skull, risks and consequences

An important role is played by the anatomical and physiological features of the child. The bones of the skull of a newborn are not yet strong enough, and the sutures between them are malleable and plastic. Prolonged lying in the same position necessarily leads to deformation of the bones. Surely you have noticed that all babies are born with elongated - rounded heads, and already in the process of growth, the skull instead of an ovoid takes a flattened round shape. Along with the change in the shape of the skull, the shape of the brain also changes.

In some cases, such changes can lead to poor blood supply to the brain, due to the asymmetry of blood flow through the spinal arteries. The consequences of such deformations can have the most deplorable consequences. That is why a child under the age of six months should be carried as often as possible in her arms. At "hand kids" there are practically no deformations of the occipital and temporal bones.

Sound sleep is the key to health

Surely you have noticed that you sleep much better and more soundly in familiar conditions. In a familiar room, you can relax much more productively than in the most expensive hotel or sanatorium. This is because safety is paramount. Everything unfamiliar, the brain automatically regards as a threat to life and health. And a newborn baby is no exception. The outside world seems unnecessarily aggressive to him, and the safest place is next to his mother. Only in the arms of the mother, the child gets the opportunity to fall asleep in a sound, restful sleep, and this is one of the first conditions necessary for the full development and growth.

Another common pathology of modern babies is considered to be underdevelopment of the hip joint. Carrying on hands in a frog pose, in which the child wraps his legs around his mother's thigh, is the best prevention of such a dangerous disease. Pay attention to carry the baby, thus, should be at 2-4 months of age.

Authoritative opinion of a specialist in this matter

The question of whether or not to carry a child in her arms worries not only young parents. Numerous books, scientific papers and dissertations have been written on this subject. World-famous psychologist Eric Erickson paid sufficient attention to this aspect in his book "Childhood and Society". According to his theory, which he worked on for most of his life, it is extremely important for every person to go through 8 stages of personal development. Trust in the surrounding world is the first stage, and it should be formed in the first year of existence. If you skip this stage and do not help the baby learn to see the surrounding reality through the prism of safety, then in the future you will most likely have to face the development of various complexes.

Simply put, a baby who has been instilled with basic trust in the world focuses less on the negative aspects of life, he simply skips them. Children who were not lucky, and due to certain circumstances, they did not develop this feature, becoming adults, in the most incredible way become victims of all sorts of troubles.

A child can form a basic trust in the world only if the mother is in close proximity with him. Finding it out of reach automatically raises the situation to the stage of danger. But the baby loses sight of mommy every time she goes into another room. The more often such separations occur, the more terrible the baby is, and the more his fragile nervous system suffers.

This problem is especially relevant for children who are on an artificial feeding system. Often, these babies are less than others taken in their arms.

Amazing allegories

Admit it, because you have heard advice from the category more than once: "Do not pick up, then you will not wean" or “Do not teach to fall asleep in your arms, then you won’t put it down”, “Now it’s small and light, but in six months you’ll tear your hands off”. Everything seems to be correct and reasonable, each of them has a share of common sense, but let's consider a similar question.

The need for an adult to eat well every day. And now imagine that one day someone who is smarter and more knowledgeable offers you to give up food.

Are you hungry! Food is necessary for the normal functioning of the body, but someone strong and powerful takes your plate away from you and claims that it is for your own good. "Do not accustom yourself to food, so as not to go through painful withdrawal". “Don’t eat now, because then no one will feed you”. Agree, it sounds at least silly, but a child needs to be carried in his arms, just like you need to satisfy your hunger every day.

Instead of an afterword

It is the duty of every mother to provide the baby with the necessary contact so that, as an adult, he can go through this life without fear and apprehension. Give him a long wearing on your hands, now it's in your power.

Regular smiles, kisses, stroking the back and head contribute to maintaining a close emotional and psychological connection, and even the best toy cannot replace this.