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Find a husband on the Internet. How to find your man - advice from a psychologist

Where can you find a husband? There are many such places, but serious acquaintances on the Internet are constantly gaining momentum.

With a strong desire to marry a good and, if possible, rich man, a Russian or even a foreigner, girls and women fill out their profiles on dating sites and shovel mountains of male profiles, but only a few succeed. How to find a husband on the Internet, and in general, is this possible, or is everything decided by chance?

Looking for a man with similar hobbies and life goals

Pay special attention to the purpose of meeting a man. Maybe it says that he just needs a partner for sex or short-term flirting. Then look no further. Also look at a person's hobbies, because if you do not have a single point of contact, it is unlikely that your novel will have a great future.

Check marital status

There is one peculiarity in online dating - you can have a virtual romance with a man for a long time, and then it turns out that he is married. Alas, this often happens, so ask about the man's marital status, otherwise you will fall in love and then you will suffer. In addition, the guy may claim that he is not married, but this does not negate the possibility that he is in a civil marriage. In general, you need to promote him so that he tells you the truth about his marital status.

Ask for his real photo

A man's profile can have only one photo, and even then some kind of left, fake one. Having found a common language with a young man, ask him for a photo. It is best if, at your request, he sends another frame where he holds a piece of paper with a name written to you, well, or some code word / expression. Then all your doubts will dissipate completely. Don't want to send? Well, God bless him - keep looking.

Ask about his outlook on life

On the Internet, people are more sociable than in real life, so it may turn out that you actually get to know a closed homebody who, apart from a computer, sees nothing in life. You ask how he lives, what his views on life are. Analyze his communication style. Short and monosyllabic answers, as well as the absence of questions, can indicate that the guy is not interested in you. Then there is no point in continuing the conversation.

Don't believe every word

If a guy says he fell in love with you from the first word, don't get too excited. There is no love at first word, except at first sight(but not in the photo, but on a living person). Maybe you are talking to a marriage swindler or a second Casanova. Do you need it?

When did he register?

What can the fact that the guy's profile was registered two or more years ago mean?? And about the fact that a person, so to speak, got a taste and looks at virtual dating just like a hobby. This is also not your type, because you need to get married, and not just talk about this and that.

Talk on the phone

Offer to talk on the phone. If a guy is overly shy, he won't make much of an impression on you over the phone. That is, in this case, you can avoid unnecessary acquaintance in real life with a notorious boy. Well and if he behaves with dignity on the phone, then it is quite possible to meet him - all of a sudden, this will be your one and only life partner.

P.S.

Also, remember to follow basic safety precautions when dating a guy: do not invite him to your home and to uncrowded places. After all, you don’t know each other in real life, which means that he may not be who he claims to be.

In our time, the Internet has become at least the second most important way to meet and, accordingly, the second most important in terms of starting a family. For those who, out of desperation or intellect, or in connection with their analytical spirit, do not trust random meetings, I can say: there is absolutely a chance to find a decent person on the Internet. If you are looking for a husband, friend, or just a partner for the weekend, you have a high chance of achieving your goal, but you need to follow a certain search algorithm. To do this, it is necessary not to succumb to momentary weaknesses, but to exclude those who do not suit you in a mathematical, counterintuitive way.

You need to determine your priorities in choosing a man. It can be a list of 50 or 100 items. Decide, for example, whether you are willing to tolerate the fact that a man smokes, loves dogs more than elephants, laughs loudly in company, has a terrible accent when he speaks Ukrainian or Ukrainian when he speaks English. I would call it "The Da Vinci Code". To evaluate a man, you need to make a questionnaire, assign a certain number of points to each item and set a minimum "threshold". For example, an answer that matches your opinion gets 5 points. A man who scores less than 100 is not worth your attention, don't answer him. Often our women fall into Turgenevism and epistles, and then wonder why the partner does not tell her that she has a beautiful hat in the photo.

You also need to do research to find out how many women are looking for the same man you want to meet. For example, two-meter, brown-eyed, who speaks eight languages ​​and earns a million dollars a week. It may turn out that the competitive environment is crazy. The probability of finding the right person can be calculated mathematically. As a citizen of Kiev, I will write about Kyiv. About 5 million people live in the capital. If you approach the issue from the point of view of statistical probability, then you will now find out the most terrible figure in life. The concept of "eligible" (that is, a suitable partner, the one with whom you are ready to have a relationship) for each person will include approximately 4% of the city's population. These are those who are suitable for gender and age, as well as those who will like you, and those who will like you. After all, when determining who you need, in addition to gender and age, you write other characteristics: smart, energetic, inventive ... In this way, you reduce the set, and in the city of Kyiv, according to my calculations, there may be only about 150 suitable people for you . Try to find them! It's even cooler than a quest game.

Marketing

Internet marketing involves not only the fact that you are looking for a partner, but also that you must present yourself. To do this, you need to conduct a study of what kind of women's profiles men like. For example, what should be a photo - with a cat, in a hat, on the beach ... Statistically, it turns out that a woman should look quite erotic, but without going overboard in demonstrating her virtues. If you're pictured on a white horse, dressed in white, and look like Monica Bellucci, most men will think you're out of reach. And they save!

There is an opinion that women on the Internet use their real photos, and men - strangers. But during our experiment, it turned out that Ukrainian women often publish completely fake pictures. I had the opportunity to be convinced of this when I met women personally.

In addition to photos, it is important to make a resume correctly. It should contain many trigger words that, like snares, evoke positive emotions: love, girl, joy, laughter, trust, and so on. You can also mention the cinema, it very often causes good emotions. By the way, as a result of the experiment, I realized that women, when filling out questionnaires, often distort the truth: they overestimate their social status and incorrectly indicate their place of residence. For example, they write that they are in Kyiv, but in fact - in Krivoy Rog. And I thought men were more dreamers than women. Wrong!

It is very important when exactly to respond to a man’s messages: in 5 seconds, in 5 minutes, in a week? When looking for a partner for the rest of your life, oddly enough, it is statistically better to answer in a day. It makes a good impression on men. No need to write to him at 4 in the morning, as is often the case (what if he is not alone!). A person needs to be given the opportunity to marinate.

After you have made sure on the Internet that the man suits you, you do not need to delay the meeting. During our experiment, there were examples when I offered: "Let me call on the phone." The girls answered: "No, it's better to write." And this "better write" can last five days! Perhaps this is the influence of literature, which we have always been on a special account, in contrast to painting and photography. Or women feel satisfaction from the fact that someone writes: "You have beautiful legs, kind eyes, I would like to raise children with you." It doesn't matter who writes it. And anyone can write - a pervert, another woman, a child ... No need to enter into lengthy correspondence with the devil knows who.

It is also important to choose the right meeting place. No need to meet in the park, as one of the girls suggested to me. She stated that she was interested in taking a walk in nature, and she did not want to go anywhere else. What could I think of this girl? Can't you meet me at the cafe? What if I'm a pervert? Moreover, before the partner arrives, it is better to sit at the next table. Maybe he will be so ugly that you do not want to talk to him at all.

If you like a man, you need to build relationships correctly. For example, in the West, women break the period from dating to marriage into several stages. It all starts with an acquaintance, then there is a personal meeting, after which - a period of polygamy. That is, a woman assumes that the man she met, whom she liked, has the right to maintain relations with others for some time. According to women in other countries, this period is from 6 to 12 months. Only the next stage involves monogamy, after it - cohabitation, then - marriage. And our women are often maximalists. They believe that immediately after meeting all the girlfriends of a man should "fly off", and suffer greatly if this does not happen. My friendly advice: give the man the opportunity to "pay off old debts." I understand that if crazy love arises, then 6-12 months is difficult to endure. But if this is a mature feeling, then you can understand that this unfortunate person should be given the opportunity to "close unpaid accounts."

What are my chances?

Before starting the search, we must find that point of internal support, which will give us moral support and keep our motivation. To find it, you need to do just two exercises that may change your life forever.

Exercise I

First of all, before starting the search, you must decide why you need a man and a family. This is not an idle question! Take a piece of paper, sit in a secluded place and start writing point by point why you need a family, a man and what you want to achieve in your union. Points - at least 100! Trust me, this list will reveal all your needs, and then allow you to separate the true needs from the false ones that prevent you from meeting a good man to create a family. Imposed ideals and negative stereotypes interfere with you, and during this exercise you can easily identify them and change your internal attitudes, cleaning your consciousness (and often your subconscious) from children's ideas about the family.

The fact is that our internal limitations and attitudes are very well read by the people around us, otherwise why do we constantly find ourselves in the same situations?

How to do the exercise correctly?

Here it is important not to think too much, but to write everything that comes to mind. Don't write generic phrases like, "I want to be taken care of." Describe what "care" means! It can sound like this: "I want us to cook dinner together" or, for example, "I want someone to make tea for me." Or, for example, such a request: “I want to get married because my neighbor Nyura is already tired of her questions” or “I want to tell someone how my day went”, etc. When you, without hesitation, write everything that comes to your mind, you turn off logic and mind, and all your subconscious inner ideas come out.

Do not rush, you can do this exercise for several days! Trust my experience that you will deeply review and analyze your ideas about marriage and family. I am sure that you will "dig up" a lot of interesting things! For example, I thought about it for several days and carried a notebook with me, writing down everything that came to mind on this topic.

When you finish the list, set it aside for a couple of days and then reread it. First, cross off 20 items that are not very important to you. For example, you thought that you can tell your girlfriend about how your day went, and for this you don’t need to get married at all. Or digging in the country is nice and alone ... The next day, cross out another 15, then 10 points daily.

What will you get as a result? Re-reading all your expectations, you will see all your limitations, which prevent the men around you from approaching you! It doesn't matter if it's on the street or on a dating site. You will see the absurdity of some of your attitudes towards marital relations, the frivolity of some claims to a man and expectations from them. For example, you wrote that “I want to be understood”… Great! And what does “understood” mean, what are you ready to tell about yourself so that they understand you? Or, for example, are you ready to understand?

By the end of the week, 5 points should remain - something that you cannot refuse in any way, what the words “family” and “family union” really mean to you. These are your true needs, that for which you are ready to start searching and for which you can change your life! As a result, you will see what you really expect from a man and family relationships! And all the points crossed out turn out to be just imposed stereotypes!

With each item consciously crossed off the list of expectations from a man and ideas about family relationships, you become a more loyal, more tolerant and wiser woman. Various small requirements will seem unimportant and even ridiculous to you. You are acutely aware of what “love”, “trust”, “care”, “family”, etc. means. Do you understand how you make your angels' work easier?

Exercise II

The second exercise is no less important! Take a piece of paper again, divide it with a vertical line. Sit comfortably in a quiet place, close your eyes and start visualizing your future man: what he looks like, what manner of communication, timbre of speech, temperament, etc. Also imagine what his hobbies and exemplary lifestyle are, which is very, very important!!! At the same time, imagine how you, with your lifestyle and interests, will fit into his life.

Write down all the qualities of a man that are valuable to you: attractiveness, neatness, friendliness, sociability, empathy, etc. and put it all in the left column of a sheet of paper. Having finished the list (and there should be at least 100 character traits), write in the right column how you could make a man with such a character happy, what personal qualities could you offer him in return?

For example, if you want him to be loyal to your relatives or girlfriends, are you ready to be just as loyal to his mother or brother, without any conditions? If you dream of going to theaters with him and reading books together, can you also support his passion for football or computer games? Those. take a look at each item on the list and take a close look at yourself and your script for living together. Then we proceed as in the first exercise: every day we cross out unimportant qualities of a male character. There will be only 5 points left (but the most important ones!), and it is much easier to find a man by 5 points than by a hundred matches, right?!

Perhaps you used to think that your demands are the most important, and you are worthy of the attention of the man of your dreams without any concessions. Yes, they deserve it! But, my dears, you will have to “move over”! And not only on the couch (in parallel giving way to the TV remote control), but also in your planned life schedule! No other way!

"I'm not looking for anyone!"

Having finished with the definition of your true needs and resolutely accepting all the consequences of your decision to live in a pair with a man, you can begin to search for a husband.

I can even hear (on the back of the monitor) the thoughts of some women saying: “I will not look for anyone - fate, if it exists, will find me!” I agree with you girls! But you must agree with me that all our subconscious and conscious mental attitudes direct the events of our lives! Those. what happens is what we believe in, what we think about and how we relate to men and marriage ties.

Get your head in order - get your life in order! There is no other! How to find a husband is already a matter of technology! Or rather, even to say that he himself will find you! The main thing is not to miss the person you need and not to run “for the non-existent”.

Article pages about virtual love

Any woman or girl dreams of finding a handsome man with whom you can confidently go through life. Indeed, for most female representatives, a guy is a support, protection, friend, and so on. How and where to find a man?

Where to start?

First of all, you should understand yourself, realizing your nature. That is, to understand their preferences, interests and character. Only in this way will a woman be able to understand what kind of man is able to make her happy.

You also need to try to do self-improvement. To do this, it is recommended to attend several trainings that teach this skill. If it is not possible to go to such an event, then you can read the relevant literature. The main thing is not to stop there and try to make your manners more secular, and your behavior ideal. In addition, you need to pay attention to facial expressions, gestures and many other little things that may seem insignificant at first glance.

Psychologist's advice will help to find a man. For example, experts recommend mentally imagining your ideal companion. It is best to make a list on paper of the character traits that you would like to see in a man. You should also think about his appearance, manner of communication and other little things that the girl will seem significant. In addition, it is worth thinking about bad habits and negative qualities, realizing for yourself which of them are acceptable and which are not.
Having made a list, it is recommended to put the pros and cons in front of all character traits. So, the first is put if the girl has this or that quality, the second - if there is no such quality. This ratio will help to understand the difference in characters, as well as tell you where to start improving your own behavior.

The main thing is to think carefully when compiling a list. It is better to spend several weeks writing it than to constantly change something in the future. Acting according to the second option, the girl will never be able to create an ideal image.

Dreams Come True

Do not assume that describing the ideal man is a waste of time. Scientists managed to prove the theory that if you constantly say your dream to yourself, it will certainly come true. However, it should be borne in mind that the image of a man must be made sincerely, without being guided by the opinions of other people. Only left alone with her desires, a woman will be able to recreate her cherished dream.

If the description is drawn up in accordance with any accepted norms or on the advice of loved ones, then most likely the girl will be disappointed. After all, every day people impose their desires and ideas on each other, completely dissolving their "I" in the general crowd.

In search of happiness, do not forget about your appearance, because it is a considerable guarantee at the beginning of a relationship. It is worth thinking about fitness classes, stop eating unhealthy foods, and so on. Sporty and will bring out the natural beauty of a woman.

Search for a soul mate

Of course, a test from a magazine will not help you find your man. This matter should be approached thoughtfully. When looking for your companion, you need to focus on your own lifestyle and preferences. For example, an intelligent woman leading an active lifestyle will never find happiness with a rustic guy who is full of bad habits. However, a young man should not be completely like a girl, because strong relationships are built on the constant complement of each other. Regular discoveries of new qualities and positive character traits will eventually lead to a harmonious and happy life together.

It doesn't have to be done

How to find the man of your dreams and what not to do in the search process?

Very often, a woman who fiercely wants to get a man completely overshadows her mind. In search of her betrothed, the girl resorts to extreme measures, making a bunch of mistakes and only pushing away the representatives of the stronger sex. How to find the man of your dreams and what not to do during the search?

First of all, you should forget about dubious ways to attract a young man. We are talking about visiting magical salons and folk witches who promise to find a life partner in a short period of time. Also, you should not try to bewitch or hypnotize the man you like on your own - this will not lead to anything good. Firstly, the young man will simply get scared or think that something is wrong with the girl. Secondly, such unprofessional actions can lead to more serious problems.

In addition, turning to pseudo-fortune-tellers costs a lot of money, but in most cases, desperate girls end up with charlatans who only care about profit. Frequent appeal to such "sorcerers" will lead to a breakdown and disappointment, because the promise to meet a decent man in the near future will most likely never come true.

Thinking about how to find your man, you should not stare at married guys. Even if a person likes you a lot, you can’t take him away from their families, especially if there are children in it. Whatever feelings flare up between two people, they will still go out, and a man who has committed adultery once will repeat it again. Moreover, a woman who has destroyed someone else's life can attract misfortune, which in any case will return to her like a boomerang.

You can not treat a man too fanatically, almost deifying him. By such actions, the girl loses spiritual values, mentally putting the young man above all that is holy. It is believed that such behavior will not be successful, and the man will soon leave the woman, breaking her heart.

In no case should you resort to "dirty" methods. In this case, it refers to attempts at blackmail (it happens that a girl, having invented an ugly story that can darken the reputation of a man, tries to keep the young man near her, threatening to tell everyone her fable). This also includes lies, for example, very often women invent a fairy tale about pregnancy so that the representative of the stronger sex does not go anywhere. Just don't assume that young people are much dumber than girls. The deception will soon be revealed, and the relationship will be ruined forever. No need to try to drag a young man into bed on the first date, thinking that after that he will not go anywhere. In most cases, everything turns out the other way around - taking advantage of the easy accessibility of a young lady, a man will leave her and start looking for a devoted and decent woman for a serious relationship.

In general, it’s not in vain that the saying goes among the people: “You won’t be forced to be nice.” If women listened to her more often, then their personal life would be much calmer and happier.

Looking for a man right, or What methods are meaningless?

1. No need to believe that happiness will find its own way. A meaningless existence and life with the flow will leave the girl alone. The prince himself will not ride on a white horse, as is told in all the fairy tales that their parents read to the girls. A girl who does not take any action in search of her other half will remain alone until old age.
2. No need to feel sorry for yourself and suffer. Very often, a desperate woman drives herself into depression and begins to kill herself about the senseless years lived. Everyday experiences are reflected in the behavior and appearance of the girl, making her unattractive and dull.
3. Desiring change, but being afraid of everything new is completely absurd. When a girl talks every day about drastic changes, but at the same time leads her usual lifestyle, a young man will never appear. In order for pleasant events to appear in life, you need to try for a long time and go towards your goal. The main thing is not to be afraid to try something new, communicate, get to know each other and try to always be in a good mood.
4. Before trying to get acquainted with a solid and handsome man, you need to put your appearance and inner world in order. A stately young man will not pay attention to an untidy girl with whom there is nothing to talk about. So, first of all, you should do self-improvement in order to match the male representative you like.

Where to find a man who will become a life partner? Naturally, in order to meet an interesting young man, you need to visit various institutions. However, in this case, you need to take into account your age and the age of the man you would like to meet.

Looking for a man: where to go to meet the guy of your dreams?

The most banal way to get to know a young man is to meet him among mutual acquaintances or friends. This option is the simplest, and therefore common. Moreover, acquaintance through friends is safer. After all, you can ask your friends about the guy you like, thereby saving yourself and your time, if the representative of the stronger sex is the complete opposite of the ideal.

When friends do not plan any parties, it is recommended to arrange your own. It is not necessary to organize a feast. It will be enough to call your friends to play board games or just have fun. At the same time, friends can be asked to come not alone, but with their acquaintances.

Online dating

Is it possible to meet online? Yes, this is the easiest way to meet. However, on the World Wide Web, you need to be careful when looking for a young man. After all, the monitor cannot convey the character of the guy. Yes, and in many cases it is not possible to see the appearance, because instead of a real photo, many install pictures or images of celebrities.

How to find your man on the Internet? Having decided all the same to get acquainted through the Internet, you need to go to a site with a relevant topic. On it, a woman will be asked to fill out a questionnaire in which she should describe herself as clearly as possible. To make the answers interesting for men, when filling out, it is recommended to seek help from a male friend. Thus, the real facts from the girl’s personal life will be presented in an interesting light for guys.

Courses

Where to find Another way to find your life partner is to attend any courses or educational institutions. So, if a girl studies at some university or institute, she should take a closer look at the young people who surround her. This group of institutions includes driving schools, dance lessons and language courses. By the way, the last place is the most successful. Since young people attending foreign language courses, in most cases, already clearly know their position in life and have planned their future life.

If a girl is looking for an athletic young man, then she should enroll in fitness or surf training courses. In these places, a lot of beefy guys with beautiful cubes on the press.

The main thing, choosing a lesson for yourself, is to choose one that will be interesting. In this case, it will be easier for a girl to navigate her studies, and if a young man speaks to her, then at least one common topic is provided.

Public Very many people like to play bowling or billiards at their leisure. Therefore, a girl who wants to find her happiness can safely go to one of these places. If a girl is well versed in these games, it will definitely attract the attention of young people. Not so often there is a representative of the weaker sex, who over and over again knocks out a strike or one whose accuracy allows you to drive all the balls into the pockets. If the girl does not have experience in these two games, this may be the reason for dating. It is unlikely that the guy will be able to resist the request of a cute charmer who asks to teach her how to play. Moreover, in this case, the young man has a great opportunity to show his skills, and few people refuse this.

Forums or online games

Of course, this item could be attributed to online dating, but in this case, you should act a little differently.

How to find your man on the forum? You need to choose your topic carefully. For example, on a forum on how to crochet, it is unlikely that you will be able to meet at least one young man. But a lot of men are going to talk about the automotive topic. The main thing is that the girl herself should not lose face in this difficult topic. Before you start writing something, it is recommended to read a little information on this issue. So the girl will have much more chances to interest the young man.

The same goes for online games, because they are all dedicated to different topics. You should not look for a boyfriend in very violent games. Since such entertainment will surely seem too gloomy to girls. Another thing is various simulators in which a woman can easily navigate. In addition to the game process, be sure to share your thoughts in the general chat, which is visible to all other players.

Night clubs

How to find your man in a nightclub? In these establishments there is always a cheerful atmosphere conducive to acquaintance. A cheerful, incendiary dance can be an excellent occasion to start a conversation in the future. If the young man himself took the initiative and invited the girl, then we can assume that half the battle is done. The main thing is not to forget about manners and behave with dignity, so that the guy is as interested as possible in further communication.

Where to find a grown man?

How to find your man at 40? Representatives of the stronger sex, who have already celebrated their fortieth anniversary, are much less interested in online games or similar entertainment. They also very rarely visit nightclubs and bowling alleys.

If you are interested in dating serious men, then you should start looking for them at various banquets and similar events. To get to such a party and make a positive impression there, you should definitely prepare carefully. Everything should be perfect: hair, makeup, clothes and even small accessories that complement the overall look. Good taste and excellent manners are guaranteed to interest the stronger sex.

Where to find a young man? You can try to talk to him in a traffic jam. Light flirting will be much better than nervous anticipation. Who knows, maybe the conversation will turn out so interesting that you want to continue it in the future.

You can also try your luck at the airport or train station. A tiring wait, a flight or a long trip brings people together. They begin to communicate, it turns out that a man and a woman have a lot in common, they are interested together, and so on. The main thing is to try not to touch on too personal topics during a conversation, otherwise fellow travelers will remain fellow travelers who will never meet each other again.

A good option is the wedding of friends. There is always a romantic atmosphere at this holiday, conducive to the beginning of a casual conversation. Moreover, it will be possible to find out about the gentleman you like from mutual friends.

If a woman works in a respectable place, then she should look around. Especially if men are employees of banks, large offices or companies. Choosing her soul mate among such an environment, a girl can be sure that her future companion will be reliable and stable.

Women who are thinking about how to find their man should remember that such representatives of the stronger sex have already lived half their lives. Therefore, they are much wiser and more reasonable than twenty-year-old young people.

Where not to look for a young man?

At a car dealership. Firstly, with a serious purchase, any person is very focused. Therefore, if you start a conversation with him, a man may simply not pay attention or even be rude. Secondly, in our time, it is a mistake to assume that a guy in an expensive car is rich. In most cases, cars are bought on credit. So it will not be possible to identify the financial situation by this factor.

Group tours are also not suitable for dating. do not like to attend such events. So, most likely, in the group of tourists there will be almost only women with the same problems. It is better to buy a ticket to the resort, where the probability of meeting an interesting man increases several times.

Conclusion

Now you know how to find your own. No matter which method is chosen, the main thing to remember is that in order to find your happiness, you cannot do nothing!

December 2, 2017, at 14:13

A dating site is a completely modern method of finding your soul mate. However, what promises acquaintance on such a site? Will it bring a meeting with his love or only with a cunning gigolo?

Let's try to understand this issue: "How to find a husband on the Internet?". Perhaps the person hiding behind the profile on a dating site simply decided to have some fun in this way? How to avoid mistakes that, instead of creating a family, can lead to a waste of time and nerves?

FILLING IN THE QUESTIONNAIRE

First of all, you need to think about photographs. If you don't have any really good photos right now, you should ask a friend to help you get some good shots.

However, you can also book a session with a professional photographer. It is better to use those photos for a dating site that reflect the scope of your activity, hobbies, travel. This increases the chances of successful search results for like-minded people. When filling out the questionnaire, it makes no sense to tell everything about yourself from A to Z.

However, a very small amount of personal information is also the wrong approach. Here you need a golden mean, but you should be sure to honestly indicate the presence of children and their number, place of work and hobbies. However, you should not state all the information about your financial condition.

CAUTION

Women who despair of finding a spouse in ordinary life or have experienced an unsuccessful marriage are in great need of care. For some men who only seek to increase their self-esteem, such a woman becomes just a means of entertainment or an “ATM”.

In addition, there is a risk of meeting a scammer, a marriage swindler, and sometimes even a rapist or a robber. Usually, online romances are characterized by a stormy and rapid flow. With remote communication, warm feelings arise faster than in real life.

And here the woman is in danger of deception. With this in mind, it is easier to keep a clear mind and avoid temptation.

ANALYSIS OF THE MALE QUESTIONNAIRE

First of all, when considering a candidate's profile to get to know you, you need to evaluate his photo. Of course, it is impossible to accurately verify their authenticity, but the Photoshop processing is immediately evident.

Photoshop, as well as pictures in which a man has an overly frivolous look, are a sufficient reason for refusing to communicate. In addition, one should look at the general accents of the male profile.

It is not very good when they are made on appearance instead of character. In addition, the abundance of too general phrases in it should not speak in favor of the owner of the questionnaire. This indicates laziness or neglect of women.

When a man is the first to write messages to a woman on the site and his first review is full of compliments, this should be a reason to be wary.

In addition, an overly detailed description by a man of his problems should be a sufficient reason to think. A man who seeks to create a serious relationship does not immediately splash out his problems on his new acquaintance.

A LITTLE HUMOR

You should not take too seriously the very first messages on a dating site from the very first man, even when this man has a very attractive appearance.

After all, the photos on the page may not be genuine. In addition, sometimes it turns out that the male profile actually belongs to a woman of non-traditional orientation. It is possible to find out the whole truth exactly only at a real meeting. If the person who came on a date turns out to be completely different from the one on the site, all that remains is to laugh.

It is best to perceive online dating as a fun, easy pastime, but not as the last chance of marriage. Let events unfold on their own. The ending could very well be a happy one.

There are many sites on the web that offer "serious dating". I settled on the three most popular - mamba.ru, 24open.ru, badoo.ru - and posted my profiles there. In addition, I signed up for the popular mobile app tinder.

The data in the questionnaires varied slightly: I introduced myself as an accountant, lawyer and stewardess. There were also different photos: I used two looks - sexy and casual. But my real age (34 years) and interests (travelling, theatres, cinema, yoga) I indicated the same everywhere. As well as the main goal: to find a man for marriage.

In order not to get lost in all the variety of options, I decided to immediately weed out potential suitors according to the degree of adequacy. I watched how they react to the proposal to marry. A sense of humor is great, but rude jokes are already quite a serious reason to refuse a date. I do not like rudeness, empty questions and a superficial attitude - and this is not uncommon on dating sites.

The next stage of screening was the social status of the applicant: I did not hesitate to ask who the person works with, with whom and where he lives. And, of course, I would not go on a date with someone who offers to meet in the park, take a walk, and there were many such offers too. Firstly, it is simply dangerous, and secondly, a serious man who has taken place is able to invite a woman of interest to him at least for a cup of coffee.

Looking ahead, I’ll say that almost none of the applicants were interested in the place of my work and hobbies, but everyone wanted to know if I was exactly in the photo. As expected, the sexy image attracted men more often, and I caught serious offers in a more mundane photo.

Fetishists and deceivers

Mamba.ru is the largest network of Russian-language dating sites that combines smaller sites, 24 million profiles are registered here. The audience here is diverse: from millionaires (for example, my friend, the owner of a network of pharmacies, is sitting here) and television personalities spinning on the "mordolent" with a request to lend them a personal plane for shopping in Milan, to school teachers and guest workers.

The inhabitants of the site are spoiled by the illusion of options, and this seriously affects their self-esteem and communication, and ultimately the effectiveness of dating. More often than not, it never comes to meetings in real life. And although I chose "marriage and having children" in the goal section, most often I was offered to have fun without obligations. In fairness, I will say that not all men from Mamba.ru needed sex or talk about it.

One young man said that he was not interested in carnal pleasures at all, only the massage of my beautiful feet. I wrote back: "Honey, unfortunately, massage does not turn on children, but I want a family and children." The young man was also not at a loss: "Maybe I will like you so much that I myself will want children and can change." I had to say what I need immediately and for sure. And such "maybe if I like you a lot, I will change/think about getting married/change orientation" ⅔ of all messages.

In five days, 128 people wrote to me, ⅓ of them recognized marriage with me as a tempting business. I received specific proposals to meet and discuss the date of the wedding (or at least just talk about it) from 12 people, which accounted for about 10% of the total number of respondents.

The ardent young man Ruslan immediately offered to marry, promising to carry it in his arms. Another applicant offered to immediately move into a newly renovated apartment and have children. I especially remember the man who wrote that he was looking for a wife - the keeper of the hearth. But on the condition that I'm definitely not a model or an actress, because the representatives of these professions, in his opinion, have extremely easy behavior. I dared to object that my sister is a former model, and asked me to continue to choose expressions. "And you will still tell me how I should respond about these ...?" - the failed groom was indignant and sent me to the black list.

But the next applicant, with his gallantry and wit, quickly made him forget all the negative impressions about unsuccessful suitors. I decided to meet with him.

Groom first

We spent a wonderful evening and a few more days of nice texting ... Until my page was written by his girlfriend, who has a baby from him and monitors all his correspondence.

Oh, I'll ride (if I have time)!

The international dating network Badoo.ru was created by Russians. Site traffic is about 220 million people. In fact, the Russian-speaking part is not as numerous as on Mamba.ru, but the people here are simpler and more adequate. Here, too, I indicated marriage as the purpose of acquaintance in the questionnaire and began to wait for the daredevils.

More than 100 people wrote to me during the evening. Almost all of them said that they had a positive attitude towards marriage and were ready for a serious relationship if everything else matched. Another 14 offered to see each other to see for themselves that we are suitable for each other.

A lot must come together: appearance, emotionality, mind, interests, material base, readiness to start a relationship, - the first person who wrote it went to the specifics. - Do you think I'm making it difficult? Let's see each other first, maybe the chemistry won't work. You can meet right at the registry office, I still have free pages.

In parallel, I had a fight with another potential "wealthy fiance" because of who will iron the shirts of whom. The young man was convinced that handling the iron and cooking borscht was the main prerogative of a woman: "What else do you need a wife for?" While the young man was surprised, I agreed to a date with Vadim, who said that cooking and ironing are trifles, the main thing is drive.

Groom second

Vadim, 36 years old. A former athlete, ugly, but very cheerful. Over pizza, he told me how much money he had in his account, what real estate he had, and how much he spent per month. He was looking for a quite seriously cheerful woman who could share his interests (travelling, cycling, snowboarding, skiing) and not be annoyed by living together with his son.

I honestly admitted that I could only share his passion for travel. To which my athlete said: “It doesn’t matter, my ex-wife was also far from sports. You will sunbathe and watch how my son and I are moving down the mountain.”

Over dessert, Vadim admitted that two years ago he already found a girl on the site, she recently moved out of him, and he wants to fill the resulting vacuum as quickly as possible. "If you decide - write," the potential groom said goodbye to me and flew off in an SUV.

A week later, I decided to go to the cinema with him, but Vadim replied that he had already found a girl who would agree to ski with him. But if suddenly in two years she also leaves him, then he will be happy. Well, the Germans are right, they came up with a saying, "in a large family (badu) they don't click their beaks." I wished Vadim that the current girl would still become one Noah, the only one, and went to look for personal happiness further.

From a fictitious marriage to a wedding in Prague

The site 24open.ru also combines several dating sites. People here sit simpler than on Mamba.ru, but there are fewer frankly indecent offers here. In this sense, 24open.ru is closer to real life. But, unlike Badoo.ru, the site is not numerous - it was chosen by "only" 2.5 million people. Here you can also specify the purpose of dating marriage and the birth of children, however, there is no guarantee that someone will look not only at the photos, but also at the information in the profile.

Of the 30 who wrote to me in the first half hour, 28 replied that, in principle, they were not against a serious relationship. One young man admitted that he had just got divorced and was not yet ready for marriage (it seems that he was the only honest person on the entire Internet space). And another writer turned out to be married, albeit fictitiously. Seven immediately offered to meet, to discuss matrimonial prospects.

By the way, the applicant with a fictitious marriage, who introduced himself as Anatoly, found his soul mate on the same site. At first, I just wanted to help my virtual friend get citizenship, and then the marriage on paper turned into a full-fledged relationship with a marital bed, family scandals and mutual accusations.

All in all, we don't get anything. Every day we fight and decide to leave. We'll probably get divorced soon. But she will receive citizenship, - Anatoly shared with me.

Of all those who wrote, only one young man really interested me, who seemed like a mere gladiolus against the backdrop of radishes.

groom third

Denis, 27 years old: businessman, good-looking and very sincere. Even too much. The young man spoke about his father, a diplomat, and his childhood in Africa (a family photo was presented against the backdrop of palm trees), about his sister, a gymnast, the first girl who turned out to be a drug addict, about influential clients and success in business. And also that he is looking for a smart older woman, because he wants a mature relationship, and not running around clubs. To have someone to take care of and, if everything goes well, start a family and children. Too smooth to be true, right?

I went through the photos of Denis in search engines and found my prince in social networks. And indeed, he did not lie about business, parents and other details of his biography. Deceived only with age and marital status. So, my prince is actually 42, he is married with a daughter.

Taught by bitter experience, I decided not to rush to propose a hand and heart to the next stranger, but to start talking.

For those who love fast

Tinder was originally developed as a mobile speed dating app. But in the end, life made its own adjustments: someone here is looking for a one-night stand, someone wants to find a company to pass the evening in a foreign city, and someone is really trying to find a soul mate.

To date, the application has 100 million users. But most of them are foreigners.

The application itself, in my opinion, is not very suitable for finding a serious relationship: the focus is on a selection of photos - the more you view and approve, the more chances that you will be approved and you will meet. In addition, men over 35 years old - my contingent - make up only 14% on Tinder.

When I am abroad, I will definitely use Tinder to find myself a nice guide. Although the London police, for example, advises to be more careful with mobile contacts: robbers and sex maniacs have begun to use offers for quick dating.

I had already decided to close the application, as a handsome guy wrote to me with an offer to get married first, and then get to know each other.

Groom fourth

Sergey, 43 years old: psychologist, fan of Eastern philosophy and bikes. Despite the fact that we had been talking leisurely for a week, my question about marriage put him in a stupor. Sergey returned to the Network after 10 minutes - he went nervously smoking on the balcony - with the question: "Why do you need this?" “So that there is someone to cook borscht and someone to hug at night,” I finally said the prepared crown phrase.

And, apparently, hit the target. Sergey offered to sit on the summer terrace of a trendy restaurant and discuss what and how. At the meeting, we found out that the children annoy him when they demand to switch the channel - "he has seen enough of his nephews." I offered to buy another TV and promised that my offspring would annoy him less. "Maybe you're right," Sergey agreed, and after a short conversation, he offered to marry abroad, in Prague. And if I so insist on a wedding, then he has a pretty town hall in mind.

What's the catch? It is possible that he is not.

There is a chance

In a week, almost three hundred men wrote to me. Two-thirds of them said that they were theoretically not against a serious relationship.

Does this mean that they all want to get married? Of course not. But they are ready to use all methods, including the "imaginary prolongation of relations," as inveterate pikapers call it. And those who are supposedly seriously looking for a wife on sites are actually even less ready for marriage than all the other inhabitants of dating sites. Representatives of this category have been looking for years for women who would meet all the points of a kilometer-long list of claims and requirements for an ideal wife, and they themselves can only offer a modest salary in return (which, by the way, is prescribed as “I make good money”).

Unfortunately, these "potential suitors" also have a bad sense of humor - an example of this is a nervous man who shuns models and actresses. The only good news is that most of the men sitting on dating sites are still rational beings, which means that you can always negotiate with them and convince them that marriage (and a wedding in Prague, of course) is exactly what they need.

Stories of those who found their happiness on the web

Ilya, 36 years old: I really liked the girl in the photo. We started talking, she said that she was on the site just for the sake of communication and she didn’t have time for dates, she went to German courses. I offered to meet her from the course and walk her home. It turned out that in live communication, my Sasha is very sweet and very smart. They began to call up, communicate, meet. Six months later, Sasha posed the question point-blank: she said that she was already 28 years old and she just didn’t have time to meet. I also thought that if I married, then it was Sasha, I was head over heels in love with her. We have been married for almost six years, we have a wonderful daughter, we are planning to finish the renovation in a new, spacious apartment, and then maybe we will have a second child.

Anya, 28 years old: I have been on dating sites for five or six years. I met with someone, but the relationship did not develop. Lyosha was 12 years older than me, so sleek, all status. He courted beautifully, on the first date he brought a huge bouquet of 100 roses. At first, he did not like him at all as a man. Well, go to a restaurant. Therefore, when he invited me to spend a vacation together, I thought hard: do I want to live in the same room with him? Decided to try it and didn't regret it. Pretty soon, I moved in with him, and then it started: I caught him periodically on social networks, some girls wrote SMS at night. True, he said that he wanted to marry and that I bore him a son. And I answered: if you buy me an apartment, then I’ll think about it, because staying alone with a child on the street is not in my plans. Problems began with his parents: his mother emphasized all the time that I was no match for Alexei. But then I accidentally got pregnant, and we got married. And we don't regret it at all. Lyosha settled down, all the time next to me and the child. True, he never bought an apartment in my name, but he has changed so much that I am confident in him and in the future without guarantees.

Tatiana, 26: We do not advertise that we met on the Web. We just talked with Andrei, I was not even going to meet with him, let alone get married. I was still studying at the institute, looking for myself. Corresponded with him for a month. Then he saw my photos in a bathing suit and began to persistently seek a meeting. I called him to a cafe where I was sitting with a friend and her boyfriend. In terms of communication, he seemed impudent to me, he arrived all brand new, sat for an hour, ordered us champagne and left, and an hour later he began to write to me: "Where are you, with whom? Go home, it's already late." On the second date, he drove up to me in a Range Rover, invited me to an Italian cafe on Pushkinskaya, tried to impress. It turned out that without strangers he is very cheerful. For the first two years of our relationship, I didn’t plan anything at all, he was talking about the wedding. Then he stopped. And I started talking about the wedding. Three years later we moved in together, and a year later we got married.



 


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